When you start off as a father sometimes you are able to muddle through… and you listen to advice like crazy. My first, and currently only, child Joseph has had to deal with an at times very unprepared father. And I won’t comment on the mother… just kidding. But looking through the list of suggestions here you very quickly see that the answers to most of your problems are derectly in front of us, and it just needed a little inginuety*.
I loved the list, and I will have to add more to it, as the ideas roll in.
Problem: It’s 2 A.M. and you’re out of Luvs
Fast fix: A do-it-yourself diaper, courtesy of Gary Greenberg, author of Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads. Place a clean sweat sock lengthwise down the center of a clean dish towel and fold the top and bottom of the towel over it to create a square. Lay your baby on top and fold the towel between his legs so it rests on his tummy. Tuck the front corners inside the back corners and secure them with duct tape. Not too tight, now. Tip: Duct tape on the baby’s skin results in bloodcurdling screams.
Problem: It’s 3 A.M. and she’s still crying
Fast fix: Unscrew the antenna from a portable radio, switch to AM, and find a spot between stations that emits static. This “white noise” mimics the muffled sounds the baby heard in the womb. One recent study found that babies listening to white noise were three times more likely to fall asleep than those in quiet rooms. Running a blow-dryer or vacuum cleaner also works, but you have to stay up with it until she falls asleep. Better idea: Go to beprepared.net and download a free 5-minute recording of white noise. Burn it onto a CD and set your player on repeat in the nursery.
Problem: You dread flying with kids
Fast fix: If you don’t want to buy a seat for your baby, you and your partner should reserve the window and aisle seats in the same row, leaving the middle seat open. Middle seats always fill up last. And even if someone ends up there, as soon as they see the baby, they’ll beg the flight attendant for reassignment, says Greenberg. If you have toddlers, choose the bulkhead rows, which offer the most legroom and a wall they can bounce their toys off, or seats in the back of the plane near the toilets, whose knobs and buttons provide some diversion.
Problem: They won’t stop whining
Fast fix: Pretend you can’t understand them when they do. They whine because they want, say, the cotton candy or the laser light sword. If you just look at them and say, “Sorry, I can’t understand what you’re asking for.” They’ll get frustrated and quit. If they persist, see “Meltdown” below.
Problem: Meltdown in aisle 7 at Toys R Us
Fast fix: To combat a full-blown tantrum, follow this three-step sequence from Nanny Deb of Fox’s Nanny 911: (1) Bend down to the child’s level instead of towering over. (2) Make eye contact. (3) In a low voice, tell him or her to breathe and calm down. This models the behavior you want. But you can often avoid tantrums by preparing your kids for trips to the store. “Tell them beforehand exactly what you are going there for and exactly what’s going to happen,” says Deb. “If nothing works, try a time-out in a quiet part of the store to help the child regroup; one minute for every year of age.”
Problem: The kids want to play; you want to read the sports section
Fast fix: Play 52 Pickup (works best with kids under 3). Take a deck of playing cards and bend the deck between your thumb and first two fingers until the cards spring up, out, and all over the floor. This delights the tykes to no end. “Do it again, Daddy,” they’ll squeal. Instruct them to collect the cards and match the suits. This should take 10 minutes. Repeat.
Problem: She squished chewing gum in her hair
Fast fix: Apply peanut butter, mayonnaise, or olive oil to soften the gum. Separate the hair with your fingers and work out the gum with a comb.
Problem: She’s been stung by a bee
Fast fix: If the stinger is in the skin, gently scrape it out with the edge of a credit card. Pulling the stinger with tweezers could squeeze the venom sac and release more venom. Clean the area with soap and water; then cool it with ice wrapped in a cloth for 10 to 30 minutes. A paste of baking soda and water applied to the area for 15 minutes will help relieve pain.
Problem: Your son’s penis is caught in his zipper
Fast fix: Set him in front of the TV and put on cartoons. That’ll take his mind off the wire snippers in your hand. First, try gently backing the zipper off the skin. Not working? Then use the wire snippers to carefully cut the zipper’s median bar (the little piece of metal that holds the front and back of the zipper clasp together). It will come undone.
Problem: Aunt Helen died and you have to tell your 6-year-old
Fast fix: Never say, “She’s sleeping.” “Kids are very literal at this age, and if you explain death as sleeping, they might develop a fear of going to bed at night,” says Debbie Glasser, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and founder of NewsForParents.org. Kids already have some concept of death from TV and pet hamsters. “Be honest and reassuring,” says Glasser. “Gently explain that all living things die eventually and that you’ll miss Aunt Helen. Tell your child that you’re here to love and care for him.”
Problem: They ask the tough questions
Fast fix: Get wise, Pop.
Q. Why do stars twinkle?
A. They don’t. The movement of warm and cold air in the sky bends the light from the stars in different directions, giving starlight a twinkling action.
Q. How do astronauts go to the bathroom?
A. Same way you do. Except when they’re in space. Then, they have to deal with a little problem called lack of gravity. Gravity helps poop move down and out. Since shuttle astronauts don’t have the luxury of gravity, they use vacuum suction. They sit on a cushioned toilet seat to make a good seal, turn on a fan, and do their business. The vacuum created by the fan sucks the solids into a bag to be brought home. The liquids are released into space.
Problem: Twelve-year-old Annie wants to expose her midriff at the mall
Fast fix: “This is a difficult dance to dance,” says Glasser. The key is to lay down the law, be unyielding, but also respect your daughter’s individuality. Tell her that while you understand that she wants to choose her own look, your family has certain nonnegotiable values. You’d be happy to take her to the mall and shop for other clothes that work for her, but belly shirts are a no-go. “If you make your values clear without yelling and without demeaning your daughter, you’ll have a better chance of her accepting your decision,” explains Glasser.
Problem: You feel you don’t know your teen
Fast fix: Get to know his or her friends. They are the surest indicator of what kind of kid you’ve got.
* I swear that word looks mis-spelled, but I tried 3 sources and they where all happy with it.
Tags: DIY, Family, Interesting
